Schrodinger AnswersSchrodinger Answers

Feline Friends


I had just moved in to a new apartment and was busy unpacking when I found him, or rather, should I say, he found me. I was carrying boxes inside from the pavement, and he was just sitting there, staring at me. I could swear he had an amused expression on his feline face. He didn't even meow or try to jump on me - he just sat there and watched.

Three trips in and out later, I was starting to get annoyed. I brought out a saucer and a bottle of milk and poured him some milk. Little did I know that that simple action would change my life.

Two hours later, I finally finished moving all my boxes in. I was just about to close the door, when the cat simply walked in, as if he owned the place. "Oh well," I thought to myself, "I always wanted I cat".
"I think I'll call you Schrodinger", I informed him .Well, I was a physics major in high school. If this bizarre name doesn't ring your bell, just read this explanation.

I set up my computer, accessed my e-mail account and downloaded my letters, anxious to get started on my new Q&A column.

"Hmm, lets see," I thought out loud as I was going over them "Guy wants to know what types of Elves exist and how to kill a vampire. Oh hell, where do I start?"
"Well," I heard a voice from behind me, "Elves in literature can be roughly divided into two main categories - The Celtic Elves who live in forests, protect nature and don't like anyone besides themselves, and the Tolkien-like Elves who build great cities, practice formidable magic, and really don't like anyone besides themselves." It was Schrodinger. The cat. He was speaking.

"Oh yeah, and how do you know so much about Elves?", I asked when I finally regained control of my vocal chords. For some reason, asking him how he could talk didn't really cross my mind at that instant. "Because I was once known as Tharos. "Tharos? The Destroyer? From the famous myth?" I asked with a mixture of disbelief and terror. "Yes." He answered dryly. "So how come you're a... a... a cat?" I asked, mumbling. A red glow started building in his eyes, and I quickly tried to change the subject. "So what about that vampire?" I asked.

"Well," he started lecturing, "The vampire's greatest enemy is the sun. Take him out there and he'll burn to a crisp. Fire also usually works, as does a stake through the heart, although it might only paralyze the vampire. And depending on the type of vampire and his strength," "And GM," I interrupted. He ignored me and continued "Holy objects might work, and garlic might repel the vampire, allowing you to escape if everything I mentioned earlier doesn't work."

"So, do I call you Tharos from now on?" I asked. "No," he answered, "I actually kind of like Schrodinger. It sounds dragonish..."




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